Sunday, February 7, 2010

my big girl

I've found lately that I've been having many more sentimental thoughts than usual. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with pregnancy hormones. What do you think?

Most of this sentimentality revolves around Camille. She's on her way to being a big girl. And I'm just not sure I'm ready for it! Some examples...

  • Tonight when she was cranky I gave her some big girl Tylenol. No more baby Tylenol for her.
  • She's been drinking out of a cup like a big girl. No more sippy top when we're at the table.
  • She napped with me this afternoon in queen size bed just like a big girl.
  • And she is currently sleeping on a full size big girl mattress on the floor in her room. The crib is empty.
Where did my baby go? Where did my toddler go? She's not even two for goodness sake!

As she was playing this evening she closed a door and said, "See ya!" And now I open that very same door and peek into her room, only to see her sound asleep on a big girl bed with her head on a big girl pillow.

With purple sheets.

This afternoon as we were napping together at my in-law's I prayed over her for quite some time. I haven't had much opportunity to pray over my sleeping child in the past 18 months or so. When Camille was tiny (until she was about 5 months old) we used to take naps together on the bed all the time. And I would pray over her. But then she stopped wanting to be rocked to sleep. And she got too wiggly to sleep on a bed, especially if I wasn't going to be right there with her the entire time. So my chances to pray over her as she slept grew few and far between.

But I made up for it today.

I prayed over her hands, that they would grow to praise and serve the LORD.

I prayed over her mouth, that she would use it to lift others up in encouragement.

I prayed over her sweet little feet, that they would go wherever the LORD leads them.

And as I prayed I thought about how much she has been a blessing to me and Aaron (and, really, everyone who knows her). I never imagined my heart could love someone like it loves her!

And then I realized that our hearts are about to expand in a few months, enough to love another child! How incredibly exciting! And even now I have a hard time imagining how that will feel. But to know without a doubt that it will be even more amazing than I could even hope for is just thrilling to me!

I can't wait for this babe to be born! I can't wait to see how the love in our family grows. And while I could wait just a little bit longer for Camille to be a big girl, I think I just need to enjoy every moment I have with her. Because one day she'll be going off to kindergarten, or her first sleepover, or high school, or college, or getting married, and I'll wish so bad to be experiencing that first night in a big girl bed.

So tonight, if she cries out in her sleep, or calls for her mommy, instead of grudgingly getting out of bed to go rock her I'm going to jump up and run up the stairs and crawl into her big girl bed with her for a snuggle. And maybe, just maybe, I'll stay with her the rest of the night.

Just because I can.

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Anika said...

Jenna, what wonderful reflections. I feel honored to be your friend because you are such a great and Godly mother. I hope I can be a great mother like you someday! You are very inspiring, Camille and the new babe are very blessed (as well as Aaron, of course). Even though I don't have children yet, I have been learning to enjoy the moment I'm in at that time. Thank you for good mommy insights.