Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Thoughts from a sleepy Mommy

I seem to have forgotten what it means to get a good night's sleep. Can somebody remind me please? I guess last night can be considered the best night's sleep I've had in many weeks, if you take into consideration that I was in bed from 10:30 last night to 5:30 this morning with only one interruption from the cats. But generally I'm up at least once tending to a crying baby, and often end up sleeping on the couch. If it's not Camille keeping me up, then it's our cats meowing for food or Aaron snoring. I also don't remember what it's like to sleep in. If Camille sleeps until 6:30 then I've hit the jackpot. Generally, though, she's up around 5:30 (yes, sometimes earlier).

And now to top it off I'm having a hard time getting her to fall asleep at all! She talks for a while, cries for a while, throws her paci out of her crib or pack n' play, and after somebody going in there numerous times, she eventually falls asleep (only to wake again screaming eventually). What happened to my sweet girl that falls asleep easily and wakes up happy?

This was honestly my biggest fear about having a baby. When I was pregnant people used to ask, "Are you worried about the labor and delivery?" They wondered if I was prepared for the laundry, the nursing issues, the diapers. And my answer was always, "No, I'm worried about lack of sleep." I love my sleep. I even love laying in bed when I can't seem to fall asleep. I love going to bed early and sleeping in late.

But all that has changed now. I love seeing Camille's smiling face in the morning, even if the sun hasn't come up yet. I love holding her in the middle of the night when I'm the only person she wants. I love that, when she's tired, I can give her her paci and put her blanket on my shoulder and she'll snuggle right in (even if it's just for a few seconds). And yes, I'm tired. But it makes taking naps that much more enjoyable. And I honestly wouldn't have it any other way!